…for all kinds of reasons, but this in particular was worthy of note.
“God is worried the Apocalypse may not live up to expectations. It’s the Onion Radio News, this is Doyle Redland reporting.
The Lord God announced today that He’s concerned that advanced in special effects in Hollywood movies has jaded his followers and that his show-stopping final act, “The Apocalypse,” won’t live up to fans’ expectations. While wishing to stay true to his original intention of defeating Satan, God says he really wants The Apocalypse to “raise the bar on terrifying spectacle.” Spokesperson Fred Peterson.
FRED PETERSON: “Well, in the middle ages if someone saw just the shadow of one of the Four Horsemen, he… he would probably s**t himself to death. But now people, people would barely look up from their iPod.”
The Lord plans to rethink his apocalyptic vision by adding even more eye-popping material and a running commentary feature with Apocalypse co-producer Jerry Bruckheimer.
Doyle Redland for The Onion Radio News.”